Acceptance versus Resistance

This is a topic that I find very important to me personally, as I want to practice acceptance in a lot of areas in my life.

What is Acceptance?

Acceptance is letting things flow. It means “to willingly take in what is offered, to hold without protest or reaction”. All of our suffering is caused by a resistance to “What is”. We tend to fight the reality we are experiencing in everyday life.

So how can we practice acceptance to release resistance in our life?

Let me describe a real and personal example that I had to deal last week.
My son suddenly became sick and I had to stay with him for some days. There was nothing I could do about that, but there were times (most of the time) that I resisted that fact and literally fought with the situation and with myself. By experiencing that resistance I had a painful time..
There is a conscious choice we have in dealing with these kinds of issues and determining whether or not to fight. So why is it so difficult to let go of this resistance , to not accept what is the reality of the moment? That was my question last week. I said to myself: “I am aware that I have choice, so why do I continue to resist this”?

First, I decided I would look at the situation and see what, if anything, could be done about it. Then I would do what is possible and feel at peace with myself because it gives me a sense of doing what I could in the situation. At that point, the rest was out of my hands.
Once I got to the point where I had identified what I could do, if anything – and figured out how and when I was going to do that, there was nothing left but to accept the situation.
So accepting the reality as it IS, is indeed a greater and more peaceful place to BE.

Some of the tools that helped me were:

– Being very aware of my breath to reconnect to a calmer state when I felt that I could be ‘out of control’;
– Practicing 20/30 minutes of meditation around this particular situation in the morning;
– Integrating mindfulness to create a place for acceptance to happen;
– Realizing that the situation was not permanent.
– taking this situation to a coaching session (thanks Coach Anita and Joanne for the support!).

These are some ways I found to deal with this particular situation to allow myself to enter the ACCEPTANCE state.
I feel much better now!

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6 comments

  1. Hi Allan

    This subject, as you write, it is one of the most difficult , not only to practice but understand it.
    I have experience, and I only understood the impact of acceptance some time ago, in a specific situation. I have to say that this “acceptance” is also the base for us to forgive some things or some people. i want ot receive a copy of that power toll!
    Aldina

  2. Hi Allan,

    What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your experience and insights, as well as the ways in which you worked your way through this challenge. Acceptance is one of the huge ongoing learnings in life, along with surrender to what wants to happen. It sounds like you are finding your way with both.

    Thanks again, Allan. And great to be in touch again.

    Many blessings,
    Alan

    1. Hi Alan,

      What a pleasure to receive your comment here Alan! 🙂

      It’s indeed a very delicate topic in my life. The question is, do we really have other conscious way to live? I don’t think so!

      Thank you!

      All the best,

      Allan

  3. Hi Allan,

    Accetance vs resistance, what a powerful practise!
    I love that you share your experience and insghts and that you offer tools for how you got to the place of acceptance. It is indeed by practising acceptance into the little things of our everyday life that we can grow and cultivate this tool.
    Acceptance is very empowering, as it is the only way I can be completely responsible for my life.

  4. Se sabemos o que queremos, porque será que temos receio de avançar?

    Todos nós, nem que seja uma vez na vida, sofremos deste tipo de impasse, mesmo quando nos consideramos pessoas determinadas. por vezes, quando surge alguma mudança, ou um desafio, sentimi-nos paralisados e começamos a adiar…a adiar… O medo do que os outros possam dizer ou pensar de nós, é o que mais nos impede de evoluir…
    Acreditar, baixar os braços e deixar fluir, é na maioria dos casos, o melhor caminho a seguir…

    Abraço de Luz

    “Não há outro Mestre além da Vida…

    Jean-Yves Leloup

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